Andraste's Flaming ass Cheeks! Thats Where I Eat!
by Kiera Embers
Summary: kmeme fill  After Hawke and her team mates blow up the chantry they decide to go on Isabela's boat to escape Kirkwall and the massing forces of Starkhaven. One night below deck our two favorite elves decide to frolic.


K meme fill, My guilty pleasure is kmeme so here is one of my fill of my favorite elf pairing.  
>FenrisMerrill  
>Andraste's Flaming ass cheeks that where I eat! <p>

Hawke stared out at the open ocean and ignored her persistent urge to vomit. I seemed she was the only one who was still sea sick. She took in a deep breath from her nose and exhaled from her mouth.  
>"You alright Hawke?"<br>Rowan looked down at Varric and smiled.  
>"Define alright."<br>"Ok, are you as sick as you were when we set sail?"  
>"No, in comparison to that day I'm fine."<br>"Good just making sure you're not thinking about taking a dive."  
>"Dear maker if only it were that easy."<br>Varric laughed "Yeah, I don't think you could die even if you tried to off yourself. By the way Blondie told me to bring this to you."  
>Varric held out a small blue flask that Rowan peered at for a moment. After he handed to her she sniffed it shrugged her shoulders and drank it all in one gulp.<br>"Tastes like ass sweat."  
>"Not going to ask how you know what ass sweat tastes like."<br>Hawke flashed her signature wolfish grin and went back to looking at the stars.  
>"You still giving him the cold shoulder?"<br>"He blew up a chantry. Honestly Varric the man is lucky I didn't slit his throat right then and there."  
>"What about 'Love will conquer all'?"<br>"When in blazes did I ever say that?"  
>"In my book."<br>Rowan rolled her dark purple eyes and smiled again. She was almost ready to forgive Anders. In fact she already had. She just wanted to squirm for a bit more and dwell on his guilt.  
>"He's on a time out."<br>"Ouch. So no…"  
>"No, and believe me he's feeling it. It's hard to go from four times a day to nothing."<br>"Oh Blondie is dying!"  
>Hawke let out a laugh and smiled at Varric. "I do love my crazed possessed mage. I just hate that he lied and manipulated me. No one lies to me!"<br>"Isabella lied."  
>"Isabella omitted. There is a difference. She evaded, omitted, even twisted the truth but she never outright lied. When she asked for her help she came clean with me so I gave her the book. Anders lied and manipulated me. I was used as an unwilling and ignorant pawn in his insane plot. If he told me the truth I would have talked him out of it. Or convinced him to blow up the gallows instead, get the mages out and blow Meredith sky high, not the chantry. I'd have preferred nothing get blown up."<br>"I think we all would have."  
>"But now we're all revolutionaries, fighting for the rights of mages. Well all of us except for Sebastian."<br>"Choir boy took it hard huh."  
>"Can you blame him? The Grand Cleric was like a second mother to him. He was such a good man, now vengeance is all that drives him."<br>"Are we talking about choir boy or Blondie?"  
>"I hardly know."<br>"Well here's another headache for you. Merrill and Fenris are having a huge fight below deck. The elf never listens to me so I came to get you."  
>Hawke let out a tired sigh and ran her fingers through her hair.<br>"I'll take care of it."  
>"Dining quarters"<br>"Got it"  
>Hawke went down the stairs two at a time humming a tune. Merril had started to brood on a level that rivaled even Fenris because of what happened with keeper Marethari. Fenris, president of the I hate mages club, was kicking her while she was down. Hawke would have given him a talk and told him to lay off but she had decided to let things settle themselves. They were adults and adults should work out their differences on their own.<br>When she got to the dining hall Isabella and Bethany were outside the closed door. Bethany was blushing and covering her face while Isabella grinned like the cat that ate the canary.  
>"What ridiculous story did she tell you this time?"<br>"Oh that sweet blush isn't because of what she did but because of what I cauht her doing."  
>"Bethany you should really lock your door when you do that."<br>"I wasn't doing that! I was—"  
>Betany was suddenly cut off with a clash from the dining hall and a rather lard yell from Merril. Fenris let out a roar and she then heard another yelp from Merril.<br>"Maker! I have to go on and pry those two rabid elves off each other."  
>"No! Wait!"<br>Bethany reached out to her sister but it was already too late. Hawke had already opened the door and was witnessing a truly terrible sight.

Tables chairs and plates were strewn all over the floor. In the midst of this chaos was Fenris and Merril. Fenris was holding her by the hips and ramming into her with all the force he could muster. Merril's hands were his hair while she arched her back and let out a large moan. Fenris growled and bit her neck making her yelp. Both elves were completely lost in their own world while Hawke tried to comprehend what she was seeing. It wasn't until Fenris released himself allover Merril that Hawke managed to form a slightly coherent thought.  
>"By Andraste's flaming ass, What is going on?"<br>"Merril's head turned and she blushed deeply when she saw Hawke at the door. She tried to cover herself but Fenris grabbed her by the hips and flipped her on her stomache. He raised her hips upward toward him and ignored Merril's embarrassed protests. HE looked up at Hawke once and let out three growled words.  
>"Shut the door."<br>Hawke felt a hand tug her out of the room and into the Hallway and Isabella slammed the door behind her.  
>"Why, How, When, Maker WHY?"<br>"I don't know the spell wasn't supposed to do that!"  
>"What did you do?"<p>

"Well I was getting tired of their fighting and Isabela recommended I use a spell to encourage friendly feelings between the two. Like when I attack our enemies with horror or give the team courage. But instead of becoming friends they started…well you saw!"  
>"You preformed a lust spell?"<br>"No! It was supposed to bring positive feelings towards the surface."  
>Isabela laughed "Those feelings are most definitely positive."<br>"Oh for the love of the Maker! Bethany thats where I eat!"  
>"I'm sorry, I didn't know it would do that."<br>" I need soap for my eyes,"  
>"Did you break up the fight?" Varris asked<br>"No Bethany did."  
>"Good job sunshine"<br>Another crash and a groan came from the room and Varric's jaw slackened. Merril was mewling very much like a kitten.  
>"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." Varric muttered as he walked away.<br>Isabela grinned. "I get to write another book."  
>"I'm going to bed, Bethany no more friendship spells and do not tell them what you did!"<br>"Yes…I think I'll go to bed too.  
>As Hawke walked back to her room she realized she wasn't seasick anymore.<p> 


End file.
